Coroners cry, too

Grundy County Coroner John Callahan holds a letter he received following the tragic crash that took the lives of a Dwight mother and her two children. (Herald Photo by Jo Ann Hustis)

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“Dear John,” the note read. “People sometimes think coroners are invincible to emotions." "We forget you are actually just like us, and it's your job to do what you do. I'm sure you've had many sleepless nights. I just could not help thinking of you and all the people involved in this terrible tragedy. This is sorrow that is unexplainable. “John, you have my utmost respect. Please know that you are in our thoughts and prayers. God bless you.” The late evening, two-car accident Nov. 6 on Illinois 47, which cost the lives of Amanda Jahn, 27; her son, Ryan, 3; and her daughter, Kaitlyn, 11 months, prompted the note from a Mazon couple to Grundy County Coroner John Callahan. Coroners cry too, he says. “I would never deny the fact that I cry, because there's situations in which there's no need to fight back the tears,” Callahan said of the triple fatality, one of the worst during his long career in law enforcement. “Crying is a good thing. It releases things from our bodies that are bothering us.” Should it ever come to where crying interferes with the job, a coroner then needs to evaluate whether to continue in office. “But, that's not the point. I get comfort out of crying, actually. It's not the first time, and it won't be the last,” he said of his emotional reaction in the Jahn case. Crying seems to clear the air, he added. “If I've heard Joanie (Grundy County Hospice Director Joan Sereno) say this once, I've heard her say it a hundred times, ‘Honey, it's okay to cry.' She's told that to grieving families many, many times,” Callahan noted. “We know we can't keep our emotions and feelings cooped up. That will take you right to your grave quicker than you want to go.” Everyone, coroners included, must find exit from their emotions, whether these feelings are good or bad. This is the time to lean on friends. Callahan noted the huge outpouring of community and church support for the husband and father, Josh Jahn, who was not in the car in the Nov. 6 tragedy, and the families of the victims. This support was evidenced by the First Christian Church family and their pastor, Dr. Charles Richardson, who gathered at Morris Hospital that night where the bodies of the victims were taken following the crash. The support continued afterward at the church, where more than 70 people stayed with the victims' families until well into the predawn the next day. “Everyone was going through the horrible accident together, and feeding off each other's strength,” Callahan said. “It's tough to describe, but it was happening. You could see it. I sensed a good feeling, even though something so tragic happened.” Just days later on Nov. 18, Callahan and the entire community lost a good friend, Morris Firefighter Steven “Tiny” Kline, 37, who unexpectedly died of heart failure while on duty in Stone Park. “The day after Tiny's funeral, I flew to California on vacation to be with my sons and grandchildren,” he said. “That was so healing in itself - to be able to hold the ones I love.” In the Jahn case, Callahan couldn't leave for a couple days. Then he snatched an hour and drove to the home of his youngest son in La Salle. “They have a 10-month old child,” he said. “I only had about 20 minutes with the child, but it was healing for me to hold him for 20 minutes and then come back to my office. He's just a bundle of energy and joy.” Coroners have a job to do, and certain things which must be done. They have ways to psych themselves for these jobs - to be able to get through and finish what they have to do. There are times coroners take a moment for themselves. Sometimes Callahan will lean on Sereno. Other times he returns to his office to be alone and think. Sometimes he unwinds with a drive through the area. “Before I go home and try to put my head down and sleep,” he said. “Water is very soothing. I'll go to a local pond where I fish, and just sit there. I don't even take a pole. I just watch the water and relax.” There are times he picks up a photo album, and looks at the pictures of his grandchildren and of his own children as youngsters. The Jahn case was especially poignant for him because two of the three victims were small children. “And one has the same birth date as my granddaughter. That was tough,” said Callahan. “We were fortunate to have Joanie that night. We're a very small office, but I was fortunate to have Karen Connor, my administrator, come in. We all work together, and we all cry together.” When he informs a family their loved one has been killed, or an unexpected death has occurred, he hopes they understand this also emotionally affects him. “Having suffered the tragic loss of a niece and nephew (house fire victims) almost 20 years ago, and seeing the outpouring of help and caring then from people I didn't even know, is an inspiration to continue doing what I do,” he said. Secondly, Callahan has a strong religious faith, and enjoys that part of his life as well. As he worked through a personal issue several years ago, a recently bereaved friend dropped by with a note that read, “Leave your troubles with God at night, as He will be up all night anyway.'” “There is a lot to say about this statement,” Callahan said. He believes families of the newly bereaved can be of much help in getting through extreme situations. “Many people I've dealt with in death investigations are the last of their family and the victim was their only child, or a childless couple who lost their spouse through death,” Callahan said. “And there's Josh Jahn, all by himself. It's that circle of friends and family we turn to in times like this.”